Are You an Infallible Magical Fairy?

I know your first thought after deciding to start your business wasn’t, “Yes! I get to lead a team of people!”

If you have just one contractor doing some work for you, you are the head of human resources, the team lead, and the chief morale booster - none of which you want to do, have the slightest interest in, or were ever trained to do.

It might not matter. Or You might be failing your team. Take a breath, I know that can be hard to hear.

I know what it takes to fail a team because I’ve done it. I’ve also been a team member with a leader who was less than capable of running a strong team.

Your team is critical to your day-to-day business and your business growth.

Here is just one way to know if you are failing your team: You are an Infallible Magical Fairy (Wizard, Guru etc.).

One of the most obvious, and egregious, examples of this:

The Fairy/Wizard/Guru is in a large live event. Things are going very well. The leader picks up her cards with all of the details for the break and says, “These aren’t right, *Jamie, you didn’t do this right. I’ll figure it out.”

Not only did she blame the team member for a mistake, she did it loudly, on a hot mic, and in front of the entire room. 

If you even think you have ever done this, in front of an audience, in front of other team members, in front of clients, contractors…   you are failing your team. 

If you have ever been in a post-mortem meeting and said someone didn’t do their job well enough … you are failing your team.

If you ever typed the words “my team forgot” in a newsletter or email … you are failing your team.

If your team members are the only ones to make mistakes, and you never make a mistake or take ownership or accountability for outcomes or actions … you are failing your team.

If you are not taking responsibility for your team member’s skills.

You are failing your team.

Take a deep breath. There is a good chance you see yourself somewhere in one of those examples.

I’ve been there. I’ve been ashamed of my actions or how I made a team member feel.

Chances are you had just as much of a hand in the mistake as they did. Casting yourself as the Infallible Magical Fairy reflects more poorly on you than it does on your team. 

The first question I get when someone realizes they have done any of these things, or a version of them is “If I’m such an ogre, why don’t people leave the team?”

It’s a great question!!

You are not an ogre. You are untrained and unskilled at one of the most complex issues in a business- team management.

Back to that question about why folks don’t leave: They believe in your vision, and they believe in YOU!

That is great news.

If the team is sticking around because they believe in you, why should you be concerned about your “bad behavior”? 

1.     This behavior shuts down teams. They don’t offer suggestions, they take a long time to make decisions, they may stop making decisions without your input completely (throwing you into the weeds of the business), and they don’t innovate.

2.     The team fears bringing issues to you. You may not hear about a concern until the ramifications are catastrophic or chase away a high-value client.

3.     Team members spend hours (yes, billable hours) tending to the wounds you inflicted.

4.     Prospects don’t want to work with you. If they overhear any of these interactions, they may decide not to work with you.

5.     Clients don’t want to work with your team. Your team is not up to the task, so clients go directly to you with everything.  

6.     You break any sense of trust with your team. ‘Nough said.

7.     Strong team members with strong boundaries will leave. I know I was one of those team members.

The outcomes of Infallible Magical Fairy syndrome impact your time, create inefficiencies in the business, and lead to ineffective team members. This is money slipping through your fingers.

The irony is that even with IMFS (Infallible Magical Fairy syndrome) you may have a high-performing team, from the outside.

What can you do about IMFS?

First, remember You are simply untrained and unskilled at one of the most complex issues in a business - team management.

Second- admit you have a problem.

Third- do something about it.

Some Suggestions:

• A quick and easy place to start is by picking up the Be A Better Boss Starter Pack (YRL(). It includes:

  • 10 Commandments for Being a Better Boss

  • Podcast recommendations that will help you improve your skills

  • Book recommendations to improve your skills

•  Work on rebuilding trust with your team by encouraging conversation and asking for ideas without judgment.

• Ask yourself if you may have contributed to a mistake instead of instantly reacting, then focus on fixing itrather than blaming

• Stick to the due dates you have set for completing items the team needs. This is one of the most common trust breakers between leaders and their teams. If you can’t make the due date, have an honest conversation about the impacts of missing that date and how to mitigate that impact.

• You may benefit from bringing in an outside resource to help you repair trust, air concerns, and move forward in a positive way.

It takes commitment from you and from your team. There are patterns to break, new patterns to create, and feelings to soothe.

I promise it is worth it.

 *Names have been changed/omitted to protect the innocent … and the guilty.